Semester in review

Throughout my life I have always been afraid to speak up about controversial issues. I don't want people to think I'm an awful person for disagreeing with their views or I'm afraid that I will start some kind of confrontation. This class this semester has opened up my eyes to the fact that it's okay to have my own opinions on things. If I don't stand up for what I believe in then how am I supposed to teach my children about things that are important to me. I'm grateful for the opportunity I've had to share my thoughts on this blog and to be apart of some great discussions in class. I know that coming out of this semester I will be more open about my opinions and views and not be afraid to take a back seat on them.

Punishment and Consequences

Is there a difference between punishment and consequences? 

Before this semester I never really thought there was. But now I understand that consequence is the result of the action and a punishment is what you choose to do. 

So how do we punish our children? I asked my mom about how she would punish us and she said she usually just let the natural consequences happen. 

So then the question came up how will I punish my children and I think my mom was really smart when she just let the natural consequences happen. With every action there is a consequence and I think the best way for me and my family is to just see what happens.

Stay-at-home mom

Right now I'm in school getting my degree. I've put a lot of time any money into it but I plan to be a stay at home mom. I don't plan on entering the work field after my graduation. I plan to stay at home and raise my babies.  Why does the world look down on this?

There are so many women out there trying to be better than men and take the CEO jobs. They feel the need to be on top of the corporate ladder and to stay at home and be a mother would be pointless and maybe even mindless. I disagree. I think that being a stay-at-home mom will probably be one of the best things I ever do in life and one of my top accomplishments. I can't think of anyone better cut out to raise and influence my babies than me.

power

When you think of power and marriage what do you think of?
Here are a few thinks that I think of:

• Respect
• Control
• Dominance
• Authority
• Pride

In all of these things in my mind to have a negative connotation. So is having power in a marriage and a family a good thing? I think like all things power is good in moderation. I think you should have some power over your kids but to have power over your spouse is almost abuse to me. When there is too much power on one person it can lead to an unhealthy relationship and can not only effect the marriage but also in parenting. For example when one parent has more power over the children then the other the children won't ever listen to the parent with less power. Another form of power is when you use rewards to get what you want. Something that was said in class was "a reward is something a superior gives to an inferior" The very act of giving a reward is to use power.

What can we do in our lives to avoid using unhealthy amounts of power?

Fidelity

This week in class there were a lot of things talked about that I don't really want to awkwardly blog about. One thing that really did interest me was when we talked about fidelity. In class when we discussed this it never occurred to me the little things that to some (me) are considered fidelity.
One thing that really caught my attention was when you see a famous actor or singer and talk about how attractive they are or say something along the lines of "I want to marry him". I personally have never felt comfortable saying those types of things in front of my husband anyway but after this class I realized why. It's inappropriate. This week my husband and I watched the movie Grown Ups 2 and a comment was made in the movie between a husband and a wife that they don't care if their spouse looks. This broke my heart! I think looking is just as bad as anything else.
Another things that we talked about was facebook friends. I'm not crazy or one of those wife's that are totally crazy and don't want their husband to talk to any other girl in the entire world but having old flings or girlfriends as facebook friends it just really inappropriate to me. Especially when they talk. Even if it's innocent, that's not a friendship I'm comfortable with.
I fell so grateful that I married someone that agrees with these same thoughts and views fidelity the way I do.

Same-sex marriage

This is a topic that I have always kept my mouth shut about. I know how I feel and my loved ones know how I feel but I never voiced this opinion because I was afraid of the backlash I would receive. In the town I grew up in there weren't that many people who had the same values and cultures as me so to openly disagree with same-sex marriage meant you were discriminating and was an awful person so I just learned to keep to myself.
Being married now and planning for my future family I've realized I can't keep my mouth shut any longer because if I do how am I supposed to try to protect what I believe is right and teach my children principles of the church.
I disagree with same-sex marriage. I know that I have members of my family and close friends that have chosen to live a different lifestyle than me and we will probably never agree on what we think is right but I am not hateful towards these people. Even though I don't support the choices they are making it doesn't mean I respect them any less or love them any less.
In the end people are going to make the choices they want to make whether I agree with them or not so as long as I know what is right and honor my values and cultures I'm going to be alright.

My family is like a bicycle

This week in class we were working on family systems project. For my project I compared my family to a bicycle and took a look at the relationships in my family. So here's a look at my family system.

In my family there are five members my mom, dad, sister, brother, and myself. If I were to compare each one of my family members to one part of a bicycle they would each play a role in the function of a bike. My dad would be the seat of the bike. When a bike has no seat there is no rest. There is nothing for comfort and support. My dad’s role in our family is our foundation. He is the rock of our family and without his support we would all be lost and we couldn’t function as efficiently as we would if we had him. My mom would be the handle bars. The handle bars play a key role in how a bike works. The handle bars are what steady’s the bike and guides it in the direction you want to go. Without my mom my family would get lost and would lose its steadiness. My mom guides our family in the right direction and keeps us on the right path. When a bike has no handle bars you can’t ride the bike. Without my mom our family won’t keep going, it will be impossible to stay on the straight path. My sister would be the tires. Tires on a bike are detrimental. Without the tires a bike goes nowhere and is just a hunk of metal. Like the tires my sister helps our family more forward. My sister keeps our family always moving forward. Without her our family’s growth would be stagnant. The tires make the bike move and my sister makes our family move. My brother is the peddles. The hardest part of riding a bike is actually riding the bike. Turning the peddles in circles over and over. Bikes are fun and anyone can ride one put when the peddles get hard to move more work must begin. My brother is the peddles because he puts a lot of work into keeping our family moving. Whenever my brother sees a rough patch a head for my family or a steady uphill climb he braces himself and keeps peddling. He keeps our family moving through it until the end. Lastly I would compare myself to a horn or bell on the handle bars of the bike. To some this piece might not seems like a need and maybe even a luxury, but I know to my five year old self a bell was a necessity on my bike. When a little 5 year old rings the bell on their bicycle it means more than just a noise. It means happiness and smiles. It brings joy to that little child. I compare myself to the bell because I bring a certain joy and happiness to my family that others don’t. I’ve always been a free spirit and pushed my family to go on adventures and do things out of the ordinary. Without me that element of excitement and adventure wouldn’t be there and their life would be pretty boring.